Becoming Me

I just dropped my daughter off at an event at school this morning, and I decided to use the opportunity to go for a walk. It’s such a beautiful, sunny morning. I’m just out here walking, listening to music, and reflecting on my journey of becoming me.

I realised something this morning: I need to forgive myself.

I need to give myself grace.

Why?

For allowing people who didn’t deserve to be in that space to have a say in my life, or to make me question my worth.

For allowing myself to be treated like I was nothing.

For allowing people to treat me like a doormat.

For being a people pleaser and always putting other people first, before my own needs.

Today, I forgive myself for that.

I forgive myself for not realising or noticing sooner that some people could make me feel like I was part of the family, while at the same time treating me like I was nothing. Treating me like I was second-class. Making me feel like I didn’t belong in certain spaces.

But the truth is, I didn’t know my worth. I didn’t know who I was.

And this morning, I forgive myself for allowing that.

For allowing people to cross boundaries that I didn’t even know I was supposed to have.

I know better now.

Now I know that I am worth it.

I know that I deserve to be in that room.

I know that I deserve to take up space.

And I will not allow anybody to make me feel less than, because I know who I am.

So today, I forgive myself.

I give myself grace.

And I give myself rest.